The question nobody wants to be the one to ask.
There is rarely a single moment that announces itself. What there is instead is a slow accumulation of small things, and a growing feeling that you are watching your friend work harder than they used to at simply being alive.
Three questions that tend to cut through.
Formal scoring systems have their place, but most families find their answer somewhere in these three.
Are there still more good days than hard ones?
Keep a simple calendar. Mark each day good or hard, nothing more elaborate than that. Families are often surprised by what a month looks like when it is written down instead of remembered.
Do they still want the things they have always wanted?
The greeting at the door. The window. The food they would once have stolen off a counter. When the things that made them them stop mattering, that is meaningful information.
Are we keeping them here for them, or for us?
This one is uncomfortable, and it is also the honest question. Loving an animal well sometimes means being willing to answer it out loud.
What we look at during an assessment
- Pain. Often silent. Panting at rest, restlessness at night, a changed posture, reluctance to be touched in a particular spot, or simply a quieter animal.
- Appetite and hydration. Whether they are eating enough to hold weight, and whether food has become something they endure rather than enjoy.
- Breathing. Effort, rate, and whether they can settle into a proper deep sleep.
- Mobility. Getting up unaided, stairs, slipping on floors, and whether they can still get themselves to where they want to be.
- Hygiene. Whether they can keep themselves clean, and whether accidents are distressing them.
- Engagement. Interest in people, in other animals, in the door, in the outside world.
Signs that a visit should not wait
Please phone the same day, or contact an emergency hospital, if you see any of these:
- Laboured or open-mouthed breathing at rest
- Pain that no longer responds to the medication you have
- Repeated collapse, or an inability to stand at all
- Seizures, or a sudden and marked change in awareness
- Refusing all food and water for more than a day
H.E.A.R.T. is a scheduled mobile practice and cannot always attend immediately. In a true emergency, your nearest emergency veterinary hospital is the right first call.
On being too early.
Almost nobody worries about being too late. They worry about being too early, about stealing a week that might have been a good one.
In twenty seven years of this work, the sentence Dr. Atkinson-Spinks has heard most often afterwards is not I wish we had waited. It is I wish we had not waited so long. A little early is a gift you give them. A little late is a weight you carry.
If you are unsure, that uncertainty is exactly what a quality of life consultation is for. You are allowed to ask a veterinarian to look at your pet and tell you honestly what they see, with no decision attached.
You can call before you are ready to book.
Many families phone simply to ask what happens, what it costs, or whether it is too soon. That call is welcome, and it is free.